The Olympic Games have a way of bringing out the most enthusiastically patriotic aspects of ourselves. We brim with pride when we see athletes from our home country wearing our colors, we cheer and holler as heartily from our living rooms as we might if we were in the arena, and we somehow consider a quiet personal victory with every gold, silver, and bronze our guys and girls rack up with each passing day. Yes, it’s something special alright. But did you know that there is a completely new group to rally behind and cheer for? I’m talking about beardsmen, guys. And there are plenty to support in the 2016 Rio Olympic Games.
Men’s Journal recently published their list of the seven best beards of the 2016 US Olympic team, and it’s hard to argue with their picks. Let’s give Men’s Journal’s list a look, in no particular order, and see how their beards stack up.
1. Joe Kovacs – Shot PutPhoto courtesy of IAAF.org
Our man Joe is a Penn State graduate, he’s an absolute monster – as Men’s Journal points out, he’s a “man famous for throwing a 16-pound ball of metal more than 74 feet,” and he’s also sporting a modest short beard/corporate beard. He’s a dude who will take a bit of time to keep his beard neat and clean, then hurl a bowling ball nearly the entire length of a basketball court.
2. Andy Bisek – Greco-Roman WrestlingPhoto courtesy of nbcolympics.com
He’s ranked fifth in the world and he’s doing it with a killer ‘stache. He’s sort of the Magnum PI of the wrestling world. Bottom line – the dude is a badass and we salute him.
3. Stu McNay – Men’s 470 SailingPhoto courtesy of ussailing.org
Stu is sporting a sharp corporate/short beard out on the high seas, and I dig it. Plus, as Men’s Journal points out, as “a Boston-born, Yale alum [he’s] a three-time Olympian and three-time U.S. champ.” Smart, accomplished, and a beardsman. That’s a triple threat if I’ve ever heard one.
4. Michael Tinsley – 400m HurdlesPhoto courtesy of Kevin Garner
Guys, his motto is “All gas, no brakes.” That’s just awesome. I want a cool personal slogan like that. Maybe “All gas, no Beano”? I don’t think it has the same punch. Anyway, Mike’s full beard is reminiscent of James Harden, but I’d say Mike’s is even sharper. And add in the fact that, according to Men’s Journal, he’s “cleared 10 three-foot barriers around a 400-meter track in a jaw-dropping 47.7 seconds,” I think it’s safe to say this is one lightning quick beardsman.
5. Seth Weil – Men’s Four RowingPhoto courtesy of 11alive.com
6’6″ and sporting a full beard. The guy’s a beast, plain and simple.
6. Daniel Dennis – Freestyle WrestlingPhoto courtesy of blackheartgoldpants.com
Wearing a short cropped beard and coming in at a short 5’4″, Daniel is a beast – as pointed out by Men’s Journal, he’s legendary among teammates for “starting the ignition of his well-used ’95 Ford Escort with a knife.” I feel sorry for whoever tangles with this guy and his beard.
7. Jeff Porter – 110m HurdlesPhoto courtesy of zimbio.com
He’s rocking kind of a messy goat, you may remember him for qualifying for the US team by diving across the finish line during the Olympic Trials. He’s got a sharp beard, he’s all heart, and he’s the kind of guy you want on your team.
To read Men’s Journal’s full article, complete with tips on how to recreate these beard styles, check out the whole story now!