Did you know if you don’t have a beard, you have no morals or intelligence? Or that your wonderfully fuzzy face should be taxed?
As absurd as these statements may seem, these are actual beliefs that were held at one point in mankind’s history. Bustle recently published an article entitled 5 Ridiculous Beliefs About Beards From History in which they outline nearly a half-dozen wild and outlandish beard beliefs held by people at various points in history. Let’s run down the list and see what we’ve got, shall we?
1. Having A Beard Meant You Were A King — Even If You Were A Woman
Hatshepsut was one of the only female pharaohs in history, and while she wasn’t bearded by nature, she made sure that any depiction of her – statute, painting, or otherwise – included a kickin’ beard. Why? Because at that time, pharaohs had beards, plain and simple. So if she was going to rule the masses, she had better have some chin swag to go along with her power.
2. No Beard? Then You Have No Morals Or Intelligence
In the late 19th-century, pseudo scientists decided that thin beards were a sign of overall weakness, and signified a general deficiency in numerous areas of one’s life, including morals and intelligence. The whole thing devolves from stupid to flat out racist when you read more into the details, but the good news is we’ve come a long way, and our current world of beardsmen embracing each other and who they are as awesome individuals is way cooler than the bearded world a hundred or so years ago.
3. The Beards Of Goats Symbolized Lust
Apparently the personification of lust was once believed to ride to town on a goat. I would say this is absolute lunacy, but I’m sure in a hundred years people are going to wonder how Keeping Up With The Kardashians has been on the air for 11 seasons, so I guess it’s all relative.
4. Everyone Has A Party When The Emperor Shaves His Beard
Roman historian Dio Cassius has written that both Nero and Julius Caesar both threw enormous parties for the entire city of Rome on the day that they shaved off their beards for the first time. First time I grew a beard and shaved it, all I did was curl up in the fetal position on the bathroom floor and cry until I fell asleep.
5. Beards Should Be Taxed
In 1698, Russia’s Peter the Great decided to make a buck off of beards. How, you ask? By taxing the hell out of them. If any man wanted to keep his majestic face mane, he had to pay the state a tax for the right to keep it, and was then awarded a token with a little picture of a bearded dude on it to show that he had paid his dues.
Read Bustle’s full article here, and learn more about these ridiculous historical beard beliefs.