The Beardsman’s Guide to Balding

—Urban Beardsman

Every few years as a man ages, he has a realization that forever changes the way he views, well, everything. He sees something that cannot be unseen, hears something that cannot be unheard. When puberty hits, suddenly sex is all that a guy can think about. When he hears The Beatles or Bowie or Biggie for the first time, nothing will ever be the same. Although these moments become fewer and farther between as a guy ages, there is one moment that will make a huge impact when it hits, the likes of which he’s never experienced before: when someone informs him that he’s losing his hair.

From a young age, guys hear their parents talk about the strength of their hair and the likelihood of them going bald one day based on their genetics. There are theories abound which predict if and when you’ll lose your hair, but really if you’ve seen photos of your uncles and cousins and grandpas and there seems to be a theme, on either the hairier or less hairy end of the spectrum, then that’s probably a sign of what’s to come. However, don’t despair, you’re a beardsman and you can’t let something as completely out of your control as hair loss affect who you are as a man. Let’s take a look at how to handle losing your hair.

Try Not to Freak Out

Look, there’s a chance you’ve been noticing certain areas of your hair looking thinner of late. For some of you, this could happen by the time you’re legally able to drink, while for others it might not come around until you’ve hit the big 3-0. Every one of us is different and there’s no set procedure for what to do once you’ve started to notice balding. However, keep in mind that just because you have noticed your hair thinning doesn’t mean anyone else really has. Remember, you spend a lot more time looking at yourself than the rest of the world combined does. Once someone else does make the observation, just be cool, acknowledge it if you want, and move on.

Make Small Changes First

Depending on how you style your hair, you might be tempted to make a crazy change, i.e. cutting your long hair short, once other people start noticing your impending baldness. This of course is silly, but depending on how your hair is thinning, or where, it might be advisable to be strategic. If you hairline is receding from the front or along your temples, just keep your hair as is. However, if there’s a bald spot forming on the crown of your head, it might be a wise to start keeping your hair shorter than before. As the spot continue to grow, it’ll be less noticeable if your hair is already on the shorter side.

Just Shave It Off

For our grandfathers’ and dads’ generation, balding and thinning hair was simply on display wherever you went. For better or worse, guys just weren’t that caught up with how they looked or maybe since everyone was getting married at a younger age and starting families sooner, they just didn’t have the time or energy to worry about their hair lines. However, over the past 10 years or so, more and more balding men are simply saying “fuck it” and shaving their heads. They might try to stick it out for a while, strategically cutting their hair to minimize the stark baldness that is setting in on their heads, but then the morning comes that they’ve had enough and they go full-blown Jason Statham-status. Dwayne Johnson, Corey Stoll, and mother f*ckin’ Billy Zane are all prime examples of guys who followed in Bruce Willis’ footsteps and decided to take control of their baldness and simply go for it 100%. If that isn’t following the beardsman mantra, then we don’t know what is.

A Bald Man’s Beard

If you’re starting to lose your hair, you might be wondering, “what should I do about my facial hair?” Ah yes, the age old (or maybe just somewhat recent) question. Look, you can do whatever makes you happiest. Shave it off completely if you want or embrace your beard even more so than before. Try out a mustache or mutton chops! Well, maybe not the chops. Of course, we strongly support our bald beardsmen brethren and want you to continue down your bearded journey. The question is though if you shave your head, where do you let your beard grow to? Our suggestion: let your sideburns grow in and cut them right about where a pair of glasses would cross their path. There’s no perfect spot so play around with the cut line and see what works best for you. As we love to preach here, it’s all about confidence and you defining yourself how you want.