Did you know February 7th is Stuffed Mushroom Day? And that March 6th is Middle Name Pride Day? And that October 3rd is Virus Appreciation Day? It seems that for as many days as there are on the calendar, there are commemorative days celebrating everything from cold cuts to spies. Most of these days are stupid. Mail Order Catalog Day? No thanks, this isn’t 1993, and no one is buying wrapping paper from me for a sixth grade fundraiser, so your mail order catalogues are pointless and dumb.
But there is one day that is worth celebrating. No, not Take Your Cat to the Vet Day, nor Goth Day. I’m talking about September 5th. World Beard Day.
That’s right, an entire day dedicated solely to the awesomeness of the beard. What’s involved in World Beard Day, you ask? Well. Truthfully not a lot. Pretty much just have a beard. And appreciate that you have a beard. But according to worldbeardday.com, there are quite a few “World Beard Day facts” listed that are questionable, and funnier than anything I could write myself.
For example, one fact is that “In southern Spain, many townships gather to witness a boxing match between a bearded man and a beardless boy. The bearded man, normally armed with a sharp pike, is typically the victor.”
I think a man boxing a boy pretty much gives the man the advantage from the jump, but adding a sharp pike really makes things interesting and fun and lighthearted.
It is also noted that “Danish Vikings had a special day dedicated to the glorification of beards as far back as 800 AD. The event was not held on a fixed date, and was often celebrated hundreds of times each year. This early incarnation of what would one day become World Beard Day typically involved the ransacking of neighboring towns, villages and countries by large groups of heavily-armed bearded men.”
Well that sounds pretty horrifying. But the holiday had to start somewhere, right?
The actual guidelines for celebrating are fairly loose, and include things like hosting a barbecue, lighting a manly fire and sitting around it, and flattening someone’s tires then fixing said flat tire just because you can. You can also stack yourselves into an all-bearded human pyramid.
Really good stuff from worldbeardday.com. I can’t wait.
So if you’re interested in learning more about World Beard Day, including more facts and ideas for how to celebrate, visit worldbeardday.com, learn about this, our most sacred day of beardedness, and beard on!